Salt and Light

I am so excited to finally be writing my first official blog! I have literally been wanting to start one for several months now but I just never got around to it. Lately I have been feeling really inspired though and I know there is no better time to start than now. I am brand new to blogging and I will admit I am kind of intimidated by blogs of close friends that I have kept up with but I will do the best I can! Haha. I am really doing this for myself and if people want to read, that's great!

When I started thinking about what I wanted to name this thing, I really had no idea what I wanted to go for. It was almost like a pressure to figure that out before I could even start blogging! I kind of put it to the side until a month or two ago (when I meant to start my blog hah) I was reading my Bible and this passage stirred something in me..

"Let me tell you why you are here. You're here to be salt-seasoning that brings out the God-flavors of this earth. If you lose your saltness, how will people taste godliness? You've lost your usefulness and will end up in the garbage. Here's another way to put it: You're here to be light, bringing out the God-colors in the world. God is not a secret to be kept. We're going public with this, as public as a city on a hill." (Matt 5:13-14 MSG)

I really really love that! I read it almost daily now to remind me what my true purpose here on earth is. We are all given different talents and abilities, different spiritual gifts, but the one purpose we all have in common as a body of believers is so simple- to be bold about proclaiming Jesus' name and not afraid to stand out so that others will see Him shining through us and want the same thing.

Right now I feel like there is a million different things I could say to start out my first blog but thinking about being salt and light in the world gets me thinking about my recent trip to the beautiful country of Haiti. I (along with my dad, sister and 6 others from our church) spent 2 weeks in the almost isolated city of Jeremie, Haiti. I could spend hours writing about all of the things I saw and experienced but I don't think my words would do it justice (and besides I already wrote over 50 extremely detailed pages in my journal about every single day I spent in Haiti and I really don't want to do that again)! Haha

There are, however, several things that I feel like I want anyone reading to really know and understand about my experience there. I don't know what kind of mission trips you have been on but chances are it was not much like this one. I wouldn't exactly say it was what we would call "fun" and it definitely was not by any means easy. Coming from so much comfort and luxuries here in the U.S. to basically nothing definitely gives you a different perspective on your own life.

I knew ahead of time that I was going to get a huge culture shock and going there would make me realize how much I really do have and how little I really need. Of course I realized this- every single day as we went out and drove by people living with basically nothing I sat quietly feeling so selfish and guilty. It did also make me thankful but so incredibly sad at the same time. I didn't understand why these people have to live such a hard life when we are living in such a privileged country with so many luxuries and access to basically anything. If God created everyone of us equal, why does it seem like we are not?

I really struggled with this for the first few days I was there. I spent so much time in prayer and journaling about these thoughts and finally one morning at breakfast it was like my dad spoke the words God wanted me to hear right out of his mouth. He explained that we really won't understand why the world is the way it is and why we have so much and they have so little, but what we need to realize is that these people have just as much access to Jesus as anyone else does and all we can do is cover them with the love of Jesus so that they will know we are their brothers and sisters in Christ and we want to help them in any way we can. I felt so much better after hearing this. I shouldn't be sad about how little they have, most of them are actually pretty happy! Its not like they know life any other way so they don't really know what they're missing. I shouldn't think any less of these people because they have less. My sin is certainly great enough for me to realize that I am in no way shape or form better than any of them.

And just because they are worshipping in a very small and simple concrete room compared to our extravagant, high-tech, multimillion dollar buildings, does not mean they don't experience the very same presence of God any less. Sure, they don't have a talented worship team, expensive lights, big screens or comfortable seats but when they worship, it is truly the most beautiful sight I've ever seen. They are all extremely enthusiastic and so joyful. Even though I couldn't understand most of what they were singing (shouting), I could feel God so close and I know without a doubt that their exuberant, whole-hearted worship makes Him so so happy!

Anyway, I didn't really mean to go off on that long of a tangent but its a major realization I brought back with me that I wanted to share. I also want to say that I have honestly never been more challenged and tested in so many ways in my entire life. God really drilled me physically, mentally, emotionally, and especially spiritually. It seemed every time I got over one obstacle another one was thrown my way. In some of those moments I will say I broke down a little at first. From the near 15 hour truck ride from Port Au Prince to Jeremy (which was VERRRRRRRY uncomfortable and bumpy I might add) to the overwhelming sights we passed through every single day to the church we worked at there, I was completely shocked by it all. So I, being the little journal writer than I am, just had to document all of these "hardships" we endured in Haiti so I think I'll share... :)

Some are more major than others but just to name a few...

- My suitcase fell on en route to Jeremie (unfortunately it had my bible in it)
- [on the way there when you're trying to take everything in while barely having enough energy to hold on for dear life] having to deal with the fact that you could roll right off the mountain and never be seen again was just a little much for me to handle at first (lots of tears for that part of the trip)
- We quickly realized it must have been rainy season after being awakened by a torrential downpour in the middle of the night (when I say we, I really mean the poor guys that were sleeping on the roof and got absolutely drenched along with all of their stuff! Hahaha) It happened multiple nights until finally they all decided to be smart and cram inside!
- Besides the breath-takenly cold showers, it was kind of a hassle to fill up a whole bucket of water and dump it in the toilet just to get it to flush!
- I might as well have set an alarm every morning for around 4am so I would be prepared to hear the roosters crowing to no end! Thats why we went to bed so early!
- No truck ride was ever a pleasant ride...ever.
- As soon as you take a "shower" you feel just as dirty again about 10 minutes later
- Communication is so minimal and it can be frustrating to get them to understand what you're trying to say
- Although we all woke up with them, I think my dad beat us all with dozens and dozens of flea and mosquito bites all over his body (grossssss)
- As if the trip to Jeremie wasn't bad enough, it absolutely POURED on us for a couple hours straight, leaving us soaked and freezing cold with all of our stuff in the back of the truck for the remainder of the trip
- not to mention the almost 3 hour delay due to a huge bus wreck on the mountain, blocking the whole road (thankfully no one was killed)

I know this seems like a lot of complaining from my part and maybe some of it was at one point, but the fact of the matter is is that on any trip to Haiti (with Paul Ronk at least haha), you have to be prepared for just about anything and all of those things I mentioned do not even compare to what these people have to deal with every single day. All of those things just come with the territory and they are all to be expected (we obviously weren't as prepared as we could have been haha). It was sometimes hard not to let the little things like that bring me down but I had to keep reminding myself that I was not on that trip to be comfortable and I knew it was just Satan trying to discourage me. On the way home my boyfriend sent me a verse that summed it all up for me and it is James 1:2...

"Consider it pure joy my brothers whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."

Just when we thought we were done being tested, something else was thrown our way. Despite how rough it was, I truly wouldn't have wanted it any other way. Those tests and trials resulted in much greater strength and perseverance. I feel like that alone was a big reason why I was meant to go on this trip. I learned so much about myself and got a brand new perspective about my life. God revealed Himself to me in ways that I've never experienced before. I am so so thankful for being able to go and be so immersed in their culture and seeing everything first-hand. I will never ever forget the sights (and smells) I experienced. The people of Haiti really have a special place in my heart now and they will never know how much of an impact they made on my life. I can only pray that we were salt and light that Jesus wanted them to see! I cannot wait to go back and see everyone that we formed friendships with again! Maybe you want to come along now too? I hope so!

And that turned out to be so much longer than I expected but if you took the time to read all of my rambling I say thank you! I wish I could tell you every single detail! I am very excited to start blogging more and share with you some of my thoughts and visions. There is something very clarifying about writing out my thoughts when God teaches me something profound. Until next time! :)