true.love.waits.

Alright, so I have been debating forever whether or not to even touch on this subject but I’ve finally just decided to write it because it is so important to me- especially at this point in my life now. We’ve been talking about it in church recently and Caleb and I have also been spending a lot of time talking about and working on this. I can’t believe I’m putting something so personal out for anyone to read because I know some people will take it the wrong way and judge me but I wanted to put it out there for the few that will actually take something good from it.

Now before I even get too far into this I will go ahead and say that I am not even going to discuss things like my boundaries or what boundaries should be made for others because first of all, I’m not a minister or parent or anything that would give me a place to say so and I still have so much to learn about all of this. Secondly, I am only twenty years old so what the heck do I really know anyways! Lol All I know is that it is something that MUST be discussed with your boyfriend/girlfriend/fiancé, or whatever. And if those boundaries seem like pretty easy ones to keep then maybe you should make them harder. I personally hate boundaries (as does everyone) but they are absolutely necessary if you’re going to be in a pure relationship that is pleasing to the Lord. It takes time to learn how to stick with them and mistakes will be made along the way but with the Lord in the center, it is much much harder to go wrong.

So for a long time I fell into that trap of learning so much about God without really getting to know Him personally. I didn’t even realize what was happening until one day I was just like what am I even doing, what does God think about this decision I’m making? It was then when I realized that not only knowing about Him but really knowing Him is the key to living a pure life. And its not like that’s an easy task by any means! Every single day requires a lot of work but it is so worth it.  When we let Him control every part of our lives- especially this area- it is such a relief to know that we can free of that fear and worry and that God is pleased with our thoughts, attitudes, and actions.

The major thing that I had to come to terms with is that these particular “guidelines” for our lives come from a loving God who knows us better than anyone else and he wants to protect us from our own selfish ways. It is pretty much the same way with our parents. I may not particularly like the rules they set for me but I know that they love me and that they are much wiser than me (as much as I hate to admit it) and that most importantly, they have been in my shoes before and know what certain circumstances bring. When I go against their rules, I feel ashamed and guilty that I let them down. The same goes for God. The guilt we feel (or should feel anyways) when we disobey Him directly impacts our relationship with Him. And I don’t think the fact that we sin is necessarily what upsets Him the most- it’s the fact that every time we sin we fall away from intimacy with Him. So we should obey Him not because we are afraid of what will happen if we don’t, but because we truly love Him and we want to please him and give Him all of our gratitude.

I think- no, I know in order to go against the grain of what is so incredibly prevalent in our culture, we must must must spend time in God’s word and ask Him to purify and renew our minds. There is no away around it if this is what we truly desire. And in a world where sex is just so common and hardly even considered a sin anymore, trying to stick to such strict boundaries that most people wouldn’t even consider can be extremely tough. It totally sucks sometimes to feel like you’re the alone in this but we just have to remember how much better it will be in the Lord’s time- the right time.

Just as a side note: having a boyfriend (or girlfriend) who desires purity in the relationship as well makes it a lot easier! Something that also helps and is the most important thing to me is the fact that I can see his (Caleb’s) genuine love for God and I know that God is the center of his life. I love picturing him in his room reading his Bible or when he goes outside to spend alone time in prayer. This is what is most handsome in my eyes. The fact that he loves alone time with God challenges me to love God even more. I truly love him for the God-fearing guy he is J

So to get back on track… haha

A quest for purity has to begin by surrendering our minds and wills to the Lord. It’s a matter of choosing not to rely on our own thoughts but on Christ’s alone. After all, his thoughts are so much higher than ours, and His ways than our ways! We know this is the truth, and the truth is what sets us free!

And just as a disclaimer- by NO MEANS did I write about this to be all like “oh hey, look at me I’m a virgin and I intend to be until I get married and you should feel horrible if you’re not.” No. Not even a little bit. My sins are equal to anyone else’s. Mistakes that have been made can be forgiven and if you want to start all over you can! God would never hold that against anyone if they formed a new mindset and heart and asked for forgiveness. So I'm not trying to belittle anyone or put myself on some sort of pedestal. This has truly been something that I have had to work on and continue to work on daily. I feel like my work is only beginning because it only gets harder the older I become and the closer I get to being married. Trust me, every single time I’m reading my Bible or am spending quiet time in prayer I realize how extremely bad I need God’s grace every day. I am never impressed with myself when it comes to my spiritual life because I feel like I can always be doing better. I just want to be someone who is real, down to earth and serious about God. This blog is just an opportunity I wanted to take to share what I have been learning and things that God has revealed in so many ways.

I really encourage you to read some of these verses because they can be constant reminders of how we are to live! They are some of my absolute favorites!

Ephesians 4:21-24

1 Peter 2:11-12

2 Corinthians 3:17-18

Galatians 5:16-19

James 4:8

Hebrews 13:18

Lots of love,

Jordan

A little Valentine's Day fun

What Caleb made for me :) - psalm 34:3

So since today is Valentine's Day (or at least it was when I first started writing this) and I needed a new post anyways I thought it would be a perfect opportunity to talk about my very special Valentine and maybe brag on him a little...or a lot ;) I saw these questions from my lovely friend's Jessi Williams blog and thought they were pretty cute so I stole them- thanks Jess! hehe 

So here they are...

1. How long have you and your significant other been together?

Well this is kind of an ambiguous question because I don't even know how long he would say! We dated for a year in high school and about 2 years later we are back together...and its been about 4 and a half months. Feels like a lot longer though! ;)

2. How did you meet? {What's your "love" story?}

First of all, this is going to be an extremely long answer! I'm first taken back to good ole myspace! haha Since we went to high school together I kinda always knew who he was but I left him a picture comment that pretty much started the whole thing! We started dating after a few awkward months of talking and ended up staying together for a little over a year. We clearly both really liked each other, but we weren't really the guy and girl that we needed each other to be at the time. Its a whole lot more complicated than that but basically we had a lot of growing up to do and a lot to learn about ourselves before we could focus on each other. So I went my whole senior year of high school and first year of college without him. In that time so much happened and we both changed so much. I can't even begin to explain how we ended back together this past fall. It is a long story and I'm not even sure how it all happened, I really didn't think it ever would. I think it finally came down to both of us realizing we wanted to give it another shot because 2 years later we have never let our feelings for each other go. So here we are about five months into this again and I couldn't be happier!

3. If married, how long have you been married? If not, is this the guy you hope to marry? {do tell}

Definitely have never been married but I would not be dating him if I didn't plan on marrying him! :)

4. If you are married, where did you get married at? Big or small wedding?  If not, where would you like to get married? And will it be big or small?

I will definitely get married at my home church in St. Albans. And there is no doubt it will be big! I have a lotttttt of family!

5. Do you have any nick-names that you call one another? Do share!

I call him Leb and he calls me Jo :)

6. Name 3 things you love most about your honey.

Only 3 things?! I'm not sure I can narrow it down!

First and foremost I love the intimate relationship He has with the Lord. I would never ever date someone who doesn't love the Lord more than they love me. He has such a genuine compassion for the church and he is constantly giving of his time and resources to help make it the best it can be.

Secondly, I love his unwavering drive and determination. He seriously is one of the most motivated people I've ever met. If he says he is going to do something he means it! He accepts what cannot be changed and does the very best he can all of the time.

And third, besides the fact that he is clearly GORGEOUS, he is also extremely talented in so many things. Drumming is without a doubt his most obvious God-given talent. Watching him play drums is one of my most favorite things. I have never met a drummer who is better than him yet he somehow manages to remain so humble about it. He could be playing drums for any kind of band but he chooses to play worship music and he spends countless hours practicing and working with our worship team. He has become a very influential member of our team; he has the most amazing visions for our congregation and I know God is going to lead him to follow through with them.

7. Tell us how he proposed? Or your ideal proposal?

No proposal yet! haha And I wouldn't dare even mention my ideal proposal because I want him to do it in his own way. He knows me well enough to be able to think of something I will really love and appreciate.

8. Is he a flowers and teddy bear kind of guy for v-day, or strawberries and rose 

petals?

Well rule strawberries out automatically because he hates them! lol But I would say he is none of them! He is so creative and he will come up with something much better than all of those! I am not much of a teddy bear kind of girl myself but flowers anytime of the year are nice!

9. Are you a sunset dinner on the beach kind of girl, or pop a movie in and relax on the couch?

Hmmm...well we don't live anywhere close to the beach and most of the time we are just watching tv on the cough haha BUT when the weather is nice we both really love being outside and doing fun stuff. He pretty much does it all- scuba diving, repelling, jet skiing, snowboarding, hunting, running, paintballing- I think the list is endless! So I enjoy doing any of those with him!

10. Tell us one thing you'd like to do with your significant other one day. If you could do anything? Go anywhere?

I literally have a list of countries that I want to visit and maybe if it weren't so long I'd be able to see them all! But one place I know we are both dying to go is Australia! So I think we'd spend the day sight-seeing and do some scuba diving (as long as there are no sharks) and then go visit Hillsong church! Yeah, that'd be like the best day ever!

11. Tell us what you plan on doing on this Valentine's Day.

Well it's technically not Valentines day anymore but unfortunately I was stuck in class until late  evening so he came over when I got home and we exchanged gifts and just had a chill night! Any day I spend with him regardless of what we do or where we go is always a special one :)

12. Are you asking for anything this Valentine's day?

Nope I did not!

13. Give us one piece of advice of keeping a relationship strong and full of love.

Assuming that God is already at the center of every single aspect of the relationship I think the absolute best thing anyone could do is pray! And I don't mean pray apart from each other or pray silently, I mean get together go somewhere quiet and take turns praying out loud for each other- that your relationship will be pleasing to God and ask for the wisdom and strength to make it so! I remember the first time Caleb and I did this and maybe it felt a little awkward at first but being so open with each other and hearing him talk to God in his own way was the most beautiful, most intimate time we have ever shared together. It truly does do so much for our relationship and I think we need to make it our goal to pray together everyday! You should make it yours too. [Just be smarter than we were because a couple weeks ago we were in the middle of praying and my parents walked into a dim lighted, completely silent room and it was an extremely awkward moment for all of us- especially when they had no clue what we were doing! Haha!]

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So that was kinda fun I suppose! I just am really so thankful to have Caleb in my life. He is everything I could ever need and then so much more. As complicated and emotional as I can be sometimes, he sure is patient with me and he makes sure he lets me know how special I am and how much I mean to him. I could literally go on and on about him but for the sake of everyone else I'll end there and tell him the rest personally :) I hope everyone had a special day, with or without a valentine because really the only true love we need comes from the One whose steadfast love is better than life! (Psalm 63:3) 

Here are a couple of my favorite pictures at the moment...

This was tonight- I made him a candy bar poem!

oh hello handsome, I believe you're all mine :)

He literally melts my heart- every single time.

Cheesy smile!