Alright, so I have been debating forever whether or not to even touch on this subject but I’ve finally just decided to write it because it is so important to me- especially at this point in my life now. We’ve been talking about it in church recently and Caleb and I have also been spending a lot of time talking about and working on this. I can’t believe I’m putting something so personal out for anyone to read because I know some people will take it the wrong way and judge me but I wanted to put it out there for the few that will actually take something good from it.
Now before I even get too far into this I will go ahead and say that I am not even going to discuss things like my boundaries or what boundaries should be made for others because first of all, I’m not a minister or parent or anything that would give me a place to say so and I still have so much to learn about all of this. Secondly, I am only twenty years old so what the heck do I really know anyways! Lol All I know is that it is something that MUST be discussed with your boyfriend/girlfriend/fiancé, or whatever. And if those boundaries seem like pretty easy ones to keep then maybe you should make them harder. I personally hate boundaries (as does everyone) but they are absolutely necessary if you’re going to be in a pure relationship that is pleasing to the Lord. It takes time to learn how to stick with them and mistakes will be made along the way but with the Lord in the center, it is much much harder to go wrong.
So for a long time I fell into that trap of learning so much about God without really getting to know Him personally. I didn’t even realize what was happening until one day I was just like what am I even doing, what does God think about this decision I’m making? It was then when I realized that not only knowing about Him but really knowing Him is the key to living a pure life. And its not like that’s an easy task by any means! Every single day requires a lot of work but it is so worth it. When we let Him control every part of our lives- especially this area- it is such a relief to know that we can free of that fear and worry and that God is pleased with our thoughts, attitudes, and actions.
The major thing that I had to come to terms with is that these particular “guidelines” for our lives come from a loving God who knows us better than anyone else and he wants to protect us from our own selfish ways. It is pretty much the same way with our parents. I may not particularly like the rules they set for me but I know that they love me and that they are much wiser than me (as much as I hate to admit it) and that most importantly, they have been in my shoes before and know what certain circumstances bring. When I go against their rules, I feel ashamed and guilty that I let them down. The same goes for God. The guilt we feel (or should feel anyways) when we disobey Him directly impacts our relationship with Him. And I don’t think the fact that we sin is necessarily what upsets Him the most- it’s the fact that every time we sin we fall away from intimacy with Him. So we should obey Him not because we are afraid of what will happen if we don’t, but because we truly love Him and we want to please him and give Him all of our gratitude.
I think- no, I know in order to go against the grain of what is so incredibly prevalent in our culture, we must must must spend time in God’s word and ask Him to purify and renew our minds. There is no away around it if this is what we truly desire. And in a world where sex is just so common and hardly even considered a sin anymore, trying to stick to such strict boundaries that most people wouldn’t even consider can be extremely tough. It totally sucks sometimes to feel like you’re the alone in this but we just have to remember how much better it will be in the Lord’s time- the right time.
Just as a side note: having a boyfriend (or girlfriend) who desires purity in the relationship as well makes it a lot easier! Something that also helps and is the most important thing to me is the fact that I can see his (Caleb’s) genuine love for God and I know that God is the center of his life. I love picturing him in his room reading his Bible or when he goes outside to spend alone time in prayer. This is what is most handsome in my eyes. The fact that he loves alone time with God challenges me to love God even more. I truly love him for the God-fearing guy he is J
So to get back on track… haha
A quest for purity has to begin by surrendering our minds and wills to the Lord. It’s a matter of choosing not to rely on our own thoughts but on Christ’s alone. After all, his thoughts are so much higher than ours, and His ways than our ways! We know this is the truth, and the truth is what sets us free!
And just as a disclaimer- by NO MEANS did I write about this to be all like “oh hey, look at me I’m a virgin and I intend to be until I get married and you should feel horrible if you’re not.” No. Not even a little bit. My sins are equal to anyone else’s. Mistakes that have been made can be forgiven and if you want to start all over you can! God would never hold that against anyone if they formed a new mindset and heart and asked for forgiveness. So I'm not trying to belittle anyone or put myself on some sort of pedestal. This has truly been something that I have had to work on and continue to work on daily. I feel like my work is only beginning because it only gets harder the older I become and the closer I get to being married. Trust me, every single time I’m reading my Bible or am spending quiet time in prayer I realize how extremely bad I need God’s grace every day. I am never impressed with myself when it comes to my spiritual life because I feel like I can always be doing better. I just want to be someone who is real, down to earth and serious about God. This blog is just an opportunity I wanted to take to share what I have been learning and things that God has revealed in so many ways.
I really encourage you to read some of these verses because they can be constant reminders of how we are to live! They are some of my absolute favorites!
Ephesians 4:21-24
1 Peter 2:11-12
2 Corinthians 3:17-18
Galatians 5:16-19
James 4:8
Hebrews 13:18
Lots of love,
Jordan
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